About me


Qualities I value

To be clear: this isn’t a laundry list of expectations. In my experience, superfluous expectations create distance,1 whereas intimacy manifests when you embrace a person as they are. In addition, exclusively looking for those that match a set of criteria can lead to discarding what’s right in front of you, like a packet filter with a misconfigured ruleset.

That said, humans recognize and seek patterns. People with some of these characteristics seem to endear themselves to me quickly.

  1. That isn’t to say that one should abandon the concept of boundaries altogether. Boundaries are healthy and represent you communicating what you need to another person. There’s a difference between advocating for yourself and domineering someone.